Stop Shoulding on Yourself and Do This

There are many people seeking a “simple success” formula to provide financial abundance, extraordinary relationships, optimal health and the wisdom to solve all of life’s challenges.

Hate to break it to you…that simple formula does not exist. We live in a world of polarities. Without bad, there is no good. Without down, where is up? Should cold suddenly disappear, how would we experience heat?

Einstein’s theory simply suggests the universe is based on relativity. Thus, rather than shoulding (I should have done this or should have done that) on ourselves when things don’t work, think and act different. Welcome each experience and evolve. Was it not Einstein who also said, “to continue to do what we’ve always done and expect a different outcome is the definition of insanity?”

Why is it so difficult for people to constructively change and fuel growth?

A big driver is beliefs. For many, we fail to reflect, inspect and dissect what we believe. Worse, we operate from the pretense that “our way” is “the way.”

Consider this. Truth is subjective. Based on new learnings, perspectives or insights, truth can and will change. There was a time when the mass of humanity insisted the world was flat and the earth was the center of the universe. Today that idea is completely and utterly absurd.

Now get personal. What beliefs do you hold that might become equally irrational tomorrow? Having a difficult time thinking of one? Ask your significant other, close friend, or trusted co-worker. I guarantee you harbor beliefs that are holding you back from being your best.

To break free from personal paradigms preventing your full potential, take time to internalize principles espoused by those you respect or admire. One way to gage the power of a principle is to ask what if everyone in the world did that thing?   Being as objective as possible, would the world become a better place? If so, do that thing. If not, don’t.

As we celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy this week, here are a few of his principles to ponder.

  • Every person must decide at some point whether they will walk in light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
  • The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
  • We must seek to do our life’s work so well that nobody could do it better.
  • Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Take the important step to stop shoulding on yourself and instead build new beliefs. In doing so, you will create your personal legacy.